Keep going, one bottle of chardonnay at a time.

I don’t know how people manage to adult without wine. I genuinely don’t. If you are one of those who does, please leave a comment at the bottom. It must be really hard though because even with all the vino I consume, I’m still kind of luke-warming it as I go along. Case in point: my friends are getting married and acting very grown-up while I’m sitting here undecided on how to feel about Fergie and Josh Duhamel’s breakup. I’m barely recovered from Chris Pratt and Anna Farris. I mean, who’s next? Good God, please don’t let it be Remy Ma and Papoose (#Blacklove). Also, I’m still very upset from reading that in the past year the average price of books in South Africa has gone up by close to 7%, I mean, I have been saying that I like books more than people so books getting more expensive means I have to “people” more. God help me. If my life was scripted, it would now read: With a look of defeat, she quietly opens another bottle of chardonnay.

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My friend and I went to an NGO fundraising gala dinner recently and if I felt like I wasn’t adulting right, that auction confirmed it. People were paying 15K for a one-night stay at a hotel somewhere in Cape Town. Are you joking? Does the stay include “quality time” with Idris Alba? And I get it, it was for a good cause. We (my attendance was my contribution) were raising money for university bursaries (sidenote: the Fees commission report has still not been released, guys), but even me, I want R15, 000 to donate. How are my peers making that kind of money? It better not be through hardwork because I don’t particularly believe in it. More than anything, I believe in the law of Least Effort. Google it, it’s the fourth spiritual law of success that Deepak Chopra writes about in his book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, . In short, the law is based on the observation that the universe and nature work with effortless ease, one of the examples I read once was how fish don’t exhaust themselves trying to swim, they just do. I also like working with ease, I want to do things when I’m inspired and without effort. I just haven’t quite figured out how to manifest money, with ease. The kind that would effortlessly allow me to be sailing the Greek Islands right now, without any care. My psychic says that I should use the following mantra every morning: In God’s divine design, the key to my success and happiness is in my hands. It’s been almost two months since I last saw her and I literally only remembered her advice now that I’m talking about manifestation. Oh god, please help me. Next time I need to ask her about the spiritual significance of procrastination because God and all my ancestors know, there is a higher power that makes me procrastinate, I just cannot help it.

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Back to my friends getting married, one is engaged now but I just have a feeling that the other’s engagements are around the corner, I know I joke about how grown up it all is but I couldn’t be happier for my homies. I am also very happy for myself because apparently, weddings are the best places to meet guys. With love in the air and the liquor flowing, anything could happen. I have always believed that we all go through seasons and phases in our lives and in friendships and for the past couple of years I felt like my friends and I were going through the “getting settled” phase where we were coming out of university, starting careers, learning to pay bills and moving into apartments but now without jinxing it, my spirit is telling me that we are entering into Wedding Season and I am here for it. So, here’s to all the bachelors and dance floors I am going to conquer in the near future. Cheer!

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